Heartbreaker Boy ♥+
And behind closed eyes, inside those dreams, inside my head
Are thoughts of you, and where we were, the things we did
The things I said I'd never forget. And this is to you, and how I hope
One of these days, I will manage to fucking forget you
I'll manage to forget the shit you gave me, the shit I gave you
The whore you loved, when you said you loved me
The way you lied to me that way you did, the way that made me
Believe you every single time
Because, heartbreaker boy, I was a stupid girl back then
I'll manage to forget you, and you'll be nothing
But a torn photograph in the trash, and a scar well hidden
! Daddy Dearest!
The blood keeps coming
But I'm not scared
I want to leave this hell behind
Maybe you then
will realize what your doing to me
every single day
I stand tall
this blood all over me
I'm not too sure
if this is mine or if this is yours
I know the knife is in my hand
It was all a blur
I few cuts here
a few cuts there
and now the blood
I promise you
it wont stop
till its all gone
I now know
that blood was mine
I smiled my first true smile
as I feel into a never ending sleep
Daddy dearest
I whisper
daddy dearest
guess who did this to me
you'll never guess
that it was YOU!
Done Before
I love you
You didn't know
How many girls
Has this happen too
I changed for you
You didn't notice
How many girls
Have done this before
I have done
To little
And
To much
I know
To little
Yet
To much
Why are you hers
And not mine
Cant you see
That I love you more
Or are you just to blinded
By your own ego
How could I
Love you so
I cant stand you
I hate you
But somehow
That makes me love you
Knowledge
How does anyone know?
What to say
To that one
Who's loved one
Is dieing
And that person knows
That they can't do anything
But watch them leave
Whose only life they know
Is now caving in
And all they can do
Is watch
How can you stop the tears?
That are tearing you heart
In half
How does anyone know?
What to do
When this happens
How can I know?
Plain old me
How can I help?
I've never seen death
But your tears
They make me ache
I just can't stand
To see you so sad
Who knows what to do?
Please help me
To help him
My hope is rising
And it's that that scares me
My hope is like a balloon
Its will float up high
And then almost as if is has
A tiny pin hole
It will sink back to earth
Slowly, almost torture
Everything in it
Disappearing
And then all that's left
Are the remains of how I failed
So it may seem
Like I want more then I can have
But really
I'm scared
And all I want
Is something that wont fail
So what if your not perfect
neither am I
fuck, no one is and never will they ever be
Just shut-up
i cant take you anymore
your to fucking annoying
you think your a nothing
when really your a somebody
a somebody that i love
You've been to wrapped up
in yourself to see
That someone loves you
want to yell
I want to scream
I cant take this anymore
I wont take another yell from you
your killing me
without even touching me
Oh father
wont you stop
and just look at me
It'll only take a minute
just look at me...really see me
See how little sleep i get
how often i force myself to cry
look at my arms
look at the scars
if you dont soon
i'll just force you to
I've cried and cried
I've screamed and screamed
I've bleed and bleed
Everyone heard me
Everyone saw me
But they didn't listen
they didn't look close enough
No one wanted to
But then you came
And you came to help
You knew I wasn't crazy
You knew I needed help
You knew so much
And the only thing I knew
Was that I would be safe with you
And I wouldn't have to go home
And now my homes with you
I wonder if they'll still laugh
The day after I finally pull that trigger
I wonder if they'll laugh in my face
My cold pale dead face
Inside this Grave
Its so cold and so lonley
But its better
then anything ive ever had before
This silver blade
Dancing apun my wrist
It leaves crimson footprints
Such a sweet little dance
I whisper to the dark room
This rough rope
Tied tightly around my neck
It leaves bluish black on my flesh
Everything's so low
I whisper to the dark room
This glass of cyanide
Sits on the table
It leaves a puddle on the wood
Tastes like death
I whisper to the dark room
So many tries
So many failures
Why can't I just die!
Why can't I just be rid of this life
once and for all!?
I yell to the dark room
I'm standing here
The water drips,
down my face
onto my neck
Mascara runs
Blush fades away
Look, you'll see-
It's really me
I'm standing here
In pouring rain
Don't join me now-
You won't understand
This feeling's pure
Soon it'll fade away,
when the sun comes out,
and drys away the day
You're looking out your blinds
But you still don't see-
You don't see pass this storm
You look right through my eyes
This rain is cold
I love the chill
I'll wait again-
For my next walk in the rain...
well- i dont deserve to be good. Even when im not.
Chelsea: hello
Me: you two broek up...again
Chelsea: mhmm
Chelsea: im pathetic i know
Me: hmm
Chelsea: how are you?
Me: good
Chelsea: thats a shame to hear
Me: why is that
Chelsea: you dont deserve to be good
that makes me feel even better
well. Im just gonna update on my life
I found out a good friend lied to me
and its not what he lied about that hurt
its that he lied that hurt
but im back up on my feet
and no, i didn't do anything of the "same old dumb shit"
uhm
spent an awsome day with Joe and Sarah again
Rain abosolutly rocks!
climbinb tree's that are wet with wet mud and steep decline to creak below, that aint cool. you get bruised calves from that
NOT COOL
and then also .. hmm nothing
My friend called me today and was worriedd cause i wasn't online. And she was real concerned and all. It really made me feel loved
my research on emancipation has contiunued (S